For all of you soon to be single ladies…
I currently have several girlfriends either going through or just finalizing a divorce. A couple have recently asked…. Sooooo, what wine should I serve at my divorce party? In the spirit of being helpful (because I’m awesome) and since there’s a good chance I’ll be drinking some of these wines, here are my thoughts.
First, because this is a divorce party, you’ll need to have some kick-ass wines made by female winemakers. Why female? Because ‘screw-men’ is kind of the theme of the night, so why not overachieve and carry the theme all the way through? Next, we have to ask the slightly awkward but obvious question – how well did you come out in the divorce? The answer to that question will direct you straight to your wine selection.
Please note: I intentionally skipped recommending anything bubbly. Excessive amounts of Champagne (or any of it’s bubbly cousins) are notorious for causing skull-splitting hangovers. Considering the fact that you’ve already been through enough pain recently, I thought I’d spare you the agony.
Ummmm…. Our lawyers got most of it
You walked away thinking “well, looking at the bright side, at least I didn’t get stuck with his f#$%ing student loans”. Although we’re starting here, even at this level, I’m not recommending a super cheap bottle of wine. You have to be realistic… you know full well you are going to drink a whole lot of this stuff. Therefore, the wine you choose has to be at least half way decent or you will definitely have a temple throbbing and head pounding hangover the next morning. So, for your entry level wine, go with winemaker Milla Handley of Handley Cellars out in Anderson Valley. Milla creates an absolutely delicious Pinot Noir Anderson Valley ($32) that may cost a little more than boxed wine, but it’s worth every hangover-avoiding penny.
Milla creates an absolutely delicious Pinot Noir #Handely Share on X
I can’t retire but at least I got the house, the car, and his dog
You’re doing OK. He may have gotten the never-been-used timeshare but you got the house, the car, and his dog. Chances are the process was hard and stressful and now that it’s all finally settled, you’re ready to party your way into a happy and husband-less future. Marcia Monahan’s Matanaz Creek’s Alexander Valley Merlot ($45) is the perfect wine for you to pop and pour. Why? Because it’s just plain good. After all the back and forth and negotiation, aren’t you finally entitled to something easy? And choosing this wine is just that. As a bonus, she also makes the Sonoma County Merlot ($28) at a slightly cheaper price point for those later-in-the-night bottles when you can barely tell the difference between alimony (what you’ll be getting) and an annulment (what you wish you could have gotten).
Marcia's Alexander Valley Merlot is the perfect wine for you to pop and pour. @MatanzasCreek Share on X
I won’t be buying an island, but I’m not ruling out a Porsche
If you have the luxury of increasing your price point a touch, my choice here is any wine by Cathy Corison. Cathy is an incredible winemaker and the founder of Corison Winery in Napa Valley. She focuses mostly on Cab and boy are they amazing. If you can still get it, go for her Kronos Cabernet Sauvignon ($150/bottle, $385/magnum). Currently, you can only get it as a magnum but don’t worry, I’m sure your friends will happily help you drink this beauty, so go ahead and get several.
My choice here is any wine by @CathyCorison. Share on X
I came out like a rock star and I still have his credit card with no limit
No questions asked, go directly to Screaming Eagle ($2k). I have dubbed winemaker Heidi Barrett as the Princess Leia of wine and her beautiful creation, Screaming Eagle, is the Crème De La Crème of the California cults. Unless you’re one of the lucky few fortunate enough to be on their list, a bottle of Screaming Eagle is going to run you about $2k. If you are fortunate enough to be on their list, I hope you got that in the divorce (and let’s become friends)!
No questions asked, go directly to #Screaming Eagle Share on X
What’s your go-to divorce celebrating bottle of wine? Tag 10KBottles in all your divorce celebrating/wine drinking happiness.
